And, oy, CLOSURE. Here's how to always get it. Sex tips for girls* (*girls who are holding on to mid-life by a thread). A dating odyssey for Young Olds, AKA, people with readers.
I highly recommend against reaching out for any kind of closure or last word. You won't get what you hope for, and then down the road you'll just feel embarrassed for acting desperate. I wouldn't call it game-playing, just letting the long-term picture inform your behavior. That's why it's best to date several people at a time until something actually turns into a relationship; you won't care if someone ghosts you because you have other options.
Dating is like interviewing for a job. I like to think of it as "Are they good enough for me?" If someone ghosts me - whether for a job or for a romantic liaison - the answer is a resounding "No." Which doesn't necessarily mean I don't want to tell them they suck! In the case of your Dear Reader, I'd probably advise them to send a note saying "Hey, just wanted to say that while I really enjoyed our dates and was looking forward to continuing to explore whether or not we're a good match - it's clear to me from your silence over the past week that we are not. Good luck with your search." In other words - model good behavior, be the best version of yourself, and don't let his assholery bring you down to that level. Plus it's a good practice round for the time when you want to be the one to pull the plug first!
I think that sound advice. I also think it’s fine to be absolutely silent and say nothing. It all depends on how resilient you’re feeling around this. I also think that women tend to say too much, and sometimes silence is golden.
Great one today. Really great advice.
You're GORGEOUS 😍 Abbe
Spot on advice per usual. All too often what is going on with the other person is about THEM not you. Hugs
I highly recommend against reaching out for any kind of closure or last word. You won't get what you hope for, and then down the road you'll just feel embarrassed for acting desperate. I wouldn't call it game-playing, just letting the long-term picture inform your behavior. That's why it's best to date several people at a time until something actually turns into a relationship; you won't care if someone ghosts you because you have other options.
Dating is like interviewing for a job. I like to think of it as "Are they good enough for me?" If someone ghosts me - whether for a job or for a romantic liaison - the answer is a resounding "No." Which doesn't necessarily mean I don't want to tell them they suck! In the case of your Dear Reader, I'd probably advise them to send a note saying "Hey, just wanted to say that while I really enjoyed our dates and was looking forward to continuing to explore whether or not we're a good match - it's clear to me from your silence over the past week that we are not. Good luck with your search." In other words - model good behavior, be the best version of yourself, and don't let his assholery bring you down to that level. Plus it's a good practice round for the time when you want to be the one to pull the plug first!
I think that sound advice. I also think it’s fine to be absolutely silent and say nothing. It all depends on how resilient you’re feeling around this. I also think that women tend to say too much, and sometimes silence is golden.