This is harsh, but tough shit. My ongoing sex tips for girls* (*girls who are holding on to mid-life by a thread). A modern love odyssey for Young Olds, AKA, people with readers.
Abbe, loved, loved, loved this! I’m curious about something, though: you sent a marvelous, fierce, honest note to Grower not Shower, but advised your ENM pal not to confront her partner who felt compelled to lie about their travels with Mickey Mouse. I truly want to understand the calculus because I struggle all the time with this. When do I use my direct and honest (and often emotionally charged) voice, and when do I just reserve it and preserve my own time and energy? Would looove to hear how you approach this in love and other matters.
That's a great question, Alyce. In the case of Mr. Grower -- I wanted to end the possibility that he would reach out to me again. When his Ex first texted me and I told him about it, he sent me several messages that read, she's crazy, ignore her, etc.., so I assumed he would do the same thing again, and I wanted to nip that in the bud. With my pal who had been ghosted, my feeling on that is simple: the person who ghosts you is showing their cards, as it were, with their bad behavior, and there's no need to teach them a lesson about that because they've already disappeared. Now, should my pal hear from that douchebag again, I would tell her that she can let it rip, if she wants...if not, again, just ignore. I'd vote for ignore. Oh, and back to Mr. Grower -- and I prob. should edit to reflect this: he DID text me once more after the Ex did her final reach out to me, to, once again, say I should ignore her. Threatening to post something about his cock on social media, I knew, would shut him up forever. My advice for you? If you need to say something to get on with your life, feel free, knowing that what you say might fall on deaf ears. In 99.9% of the time, I say nothing to those who engage in bad behavior with me, personal or otherwise, and just let the crazy evaporate into the ether. xoxoxoAbbe
Alyce -- I went in and edited per your comment, thx for bringing that to my attention. ALSO, travels with Mickey Mouse is FABINSKI!!!!!! See below more on on your question.
It's me! I'm the pathetic shrew who created that group and I absolutely stand by it! No shame in my game. 😃
I know why I'm single and am absolutely OK with it. My life is full of fun, love, laughter, friendship.
I literally have people telling me every day how much they like, love and admire me.
I invite everyone interested to check out the group: Drama Free: Making Fun of Men on Dating Apps
I'm very intentional about what I make fun of. Never looks, weight, job, class, etc. Those are cheap jokes. I'm better than that.
I make fun of low-effort men. Who expect women to swoon at their bathroom mirror selfies with a toilet gaping open. At men who claim to be "Drama Free" or "not into drama" when what they really mean is "don't have any normal emotions or needs."
It's a small, fun, way to fight the patriarchy with humor and in community with like-minded women.
If a man wants to start a group to do similar, have at it, fella! I'm not at all ashamed of my dating profile.
That invitation of course includes you Abbe. The group may not be your vibe, but you're welcome to check it out yourself and see what I'm up too. There are some posts by other members that cross the line for me from funny to mean, or just aren't that funny, but it's a space for venting so I allow it.
What a marvelous post. I'm smiling from ear to ear.
Good one, girl.
Your truthfulness is fantastic! Good luck finding love ❤️
Thx Shannon. I'm doing pretty well in this recent chapter, lots of love to YOU!
Abbe, loved, loved, loved this! I’m curious about something, though: you sent a marvelous, fierce, honest note to Grower not Shower, but advised your ENM pal not to confront her partner who felt compelled to lie about their travels with Mickey Mouse. I truly want to understand the calculus because I struggle all the time with this. When do I use my direct and honest (and often emotionally charged) voice, and when do I just reserve it and preserve my own time and energy? Would looove to hear how you approach this in love and other matters.
That's a great question, Alyce. In the case of Mr. Grower -- I wanted to end the possibility that he would reach out to me again. When his Ex first texted me and I told him about it, he sent me several messages that read, she's crazy, ignore her, etc.., so I assumed he would do the same thing again, and I wanted to nip that in the bud. With my pal who had been ghosted, my feeling on that is simple: the person who ghosts you is showing their cards, as it were, with their bad behavior, and there's no need to teach them a lesson about that because they've already disappeared. Now, should my pal hear from that douchebag again, I would tell her that she can let it rip, if she wants...if not, again, just ignore. I'd vote for ignore. Oh, and back to Mr. Grower -- and I prob. should edit to reflect this: he DID text me once more after the Ex did her final reach out to me, to, once again, say I should ignore her. Threatening to post something about his cock on social media, I knew, would shut him up forever. My advice for you? If you need to say something to get on with your life, feel free, knowing that what you say might fall on deaf ears. In 99.9% of the time, I say nothing to those who engage in bad behavior with me, personal or otherwise, and just let the crazy evaporate into the ether. xoxoxoAbbe
Makes sense, Abbe. Mr. Grower displayed pernicious and multi-faceted duplicity (versus standard dumbassery). Thanks for responding!
Alyce -- I went in and edited per your comment, thx for bringing that to my attention. ALSO, travels with Mickey Mouse is FABINSKI!!!!!! See below more on on your question.
It's me! I'm the pathetic shrew who created that group and I absolutely stand by it! No shame in my game. 😃
I know why I'm single and am absolutely OK with it. My life is full of fun, love, laughter, friendship.
I literally have people telling me every day how much they like, love and admire me.
I invite everyone interested to check out the group: Drama Free: Making Fun of Men on Dating Apps
I'm very intentional about what I make fun of. Never looks, weight, job, class, etc. Those are cheap jokes. I'm better than that.
I make fun of low-effort men. Who expect women to swoon at their bathroom mirror selfies with a toilet gaping open. At men who claim to be "Drama Free" or "not into drama" when what they really mean is "don't have any normal emotions or needs."
It's a small, fun, way to fight the patriarchy with humor and in community with like-minded women.
If a man wants to start a group to do similar, have at it, fella! I'm not at all ashamed of my dating profile.
That invitation of course includes you Abbe. The group may not be your vibe, but you're welcome to check it out yourself and see what I'm up too. There are some posts by other members that cross the line for me from funny to mean, or just aren't that funny, but it's a space for venting so I allow it.
God Bless America, Lara. Enjoy.
Good one Abbe! Been there in so many ways.