Whatcha Want? Are You More About Fuck, Love, or Think?

Dear Readers Poll, please and thank you! My weekly sex tips for girls* (*girls who are holding on to mid-life by a thread). A dating odyssey for Young Olds, (people with readers).

First of all, heartfelt thanks for photographer Robert Zott for this image from his Tombstone Photographs series. He shot this on Mother’s Day last week in Woodbury, CT and sent it over. How perfect — the name AND the monument. As he wrote to me, “A column for your column!” I LOVE IT!

Dear Readers, in doing some light housekeeping here at Shove Central last week, I was so excited to see that most of my posts are drawing in several thousand readers, which makes me completely moist in every way.

Ahead of Hot Young Old Summer 2025, I thought I’d take this opportunity to ask a few questions about what starts your engines fastest — what would you like to read about?

It’s been nearly a year-and-a-half since I launched this Substack. So much of my own life has changed, not only as I gracefully age like a fine wine (insert the hardest possible eye roll here) but also as my own wants and needs as a Young Old morph and shift.

When I wrote my first post, I was ensconced in a sex-drenched relationship that had too many ups and downs to be sustainable (even though we keep it going for years), a coupling that grew out of a polyamorous relationship in which we all thought we knew which way the wind blew (postscript: we certainly did not). I moved on from that to a few rounds of delightfully lighthearted dating, dipped back into the crazy fuckfest I had with my ex more than once, and then embarked on a really nice three-quarters-of-a-year relationship with a sweet man who I realized I did not love and would never love, so I ended it and decided to bench myself for at least six months — something I rarely (well, never) do, taking a breather on coupledom. Six months is nearly up and while I am in NO RUSH AT ALL, I think I’m getting ready to date (and you know I have a crush on someone because I wrote about it last week) but I feel like my perspective has shifted a bit.

For example — and I’ll be writing more about this next week — I just met two men who I find attractive, interesting, and who are interested in me. However, I won’t be perusing anything with either one of them because I’ve seen a few pink flags that I normally would ignore, but not no’ mo’! Likewise, I had a date with someone the other night and he said ONE sentence to me that let me know why we won’t be having a second date. And it was nothing outrageous, or weird, or gross. It was just a small tip of the hat, the tiniest “tell” that gave me all the information I need to stay firmly in my lane.

For those of you who say, “Jesus Fucking Christ, where does Abbe get the energy to date?” or similarly, “Jesus Fucking Christ, where does Abbe meet these people since she’s currently not online?” I’ll be spilling the beans on all of that in the next few weeks. And as you know, I enjoy online dating, so I might give it a whirl again — I’ve never been on Hinge. Should that be a social experiment you want to read about?

What about masturbation? Has your relationship with it changed after menopause (if you’re a woman) or with age in general (if you identify as anything other than a woman with female reproductive organs)? Mine has…sometimes. But then again, I had the most amazing (solo) orgasm a few nights ago that sort of surprised me. So do we want to talk about that more? What about lingerie? I know there are sweet wispy nothings in my drawer that I probably won’t wear again but at the same time, I was pawing through my selections the other day and saw a pair of garters that made me sort of tremble and think…hmmmmmmm, never say never.

And then, there’s the practical topics. Example: a woman I know via one of my women’s empowerment groups asked a question today about eating ass and the need (or not) to brush teeth or wash out mouth afterwards in case of cross-contamination. “Clean up in Aisle 8!” or no biggie? We can discuss that too.

With all that mind, PLEASE, DARLINGS, PLEASE! Take the poll up top to give me some direction about what you want to read about and let me know what turns you on — within reason. I mean, Mother IS tired…And DO subscribe and share with your Young Old pals. We are in this together, Comrades! Love you!