6 Comments
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Janet's avatar

Oh my god, you are so smart. I think that these gender-based observations are, for the most part, true. We pile it on, when we should just breathe and wait and see.

Nilda M's avatar

Yesssss!!!! So true. It’s good to observe too, assess, and listen. You learn a lot. Then don’t repress.

Ruth Lapin's avatar

Absolutely marvelous!!!

Lorie Payne's avatar

Oh Abbe, this is so on point for me right now! I reached out to my ex on July 4 because I have had thoughts, regrets, questions and there had been no conversation, closure, whatever. And, during the time apart, I came to realize all the wrongs I had done due to fear. The lack of communication because I didn't want to have those conversations began to grow and grow. Re-reading messagess before "the end" had a whole different vibe. So, I wrote, from the perspective of me, my fears and how I felt. He answered within a couple of hours and we have had multiple talks about us, what has happened between and now, I sm trying not to race ahead. He did some retreating and I could feel it. He would be very open and emotional and then maybe there would be 2-3 days of no messages. We saw each other for the first time on July 27 and it was so, so good. Talking, holding hands and kissing him again. I don't know what will happen but I do know that writing him that text was 100% correct and I vacilate between wanting to dump more and more feelings, thoughts, etc. with also knowing his processing is different than mine and that means sitting and waiting sometimes. ❤️

Abbe Aronson's avatar

Oh, good luck, Lorie!!!! It’s hard to walk the line. Sounds like you’re doing a great job of managing the unknown xoxo