Vol. 2, Post #72 You've Got Mail
Douchebag? Dimebag? No, MAILBAG! Here's what's on YOUR minds. My sex tips for girls* (*girls who are holding on to mid-life by a thread). A dating odyssey for Young Olds, (people with readers).
Oh my Dear Readers! How you fill my heart with joy! Last week, as I was grabbing some greens at my local market over the July 4th weekend, I woman I knew from the post office (I live in Woodstock, NY and while The Catskills/Hudson Valley often appears to be the hottest place on earth, it is nothing more than small town personified when it comes to chitchat in the grocery store; I moved here when the full-time population was just about 3,000 — so when I say I know someone who worked in my post office, I mean, I KNOW someone who worked in my post office. I know about her kids. I know about the time she went blond at the cheapo hair place in the now-closed nearby shopping mall and her hair turned brassy green. I know about her ex-husband’s crappy behavior at her daughter’s baby shower. We are in fact townies, watching the summer people come and go, and generally avoiding Main Street during holiday weekends. But when we see each other? We townies talk.)
After we hugged and I congratulated her on her retirement and she told me about her plans to move to the Outer Banks, blah blah, she touched me lightly on the arm and said, “By the way, my book club is reading your Substack.” I almost fainted.
Yes, a group of five or six women, all of them Young Olds, are reading this, my weekly deep dive into dating, sex, and love for midlife and beyond. I have to say, I’m completely honored. Sounds like two of the women are single, one is divorced and not interested in meeting a new partner in the least, and a few of them are married.
After I got home, I thought about our conversation and sent my former Post Mistress Pal a message — would she ask her group if there were any topics that the book club wanted me to cover? Is there anything of interest to this particular group of Dear Readers that I haven’t thought of yet?
There sure is!
In no particular order, here are the three suggestions that I got from her ladies in da club:
I met someone, and while it’s very early in, I think I am, as you write, “down to fuck.” It’s been a long time since I’ve had a new man in my life, or in my bedroom. I’m nervous! Any tips for making it less awkward? No matter how I feel about the guy, I think I still feel like a bit of an amateur regarding new sex at our age. You’ve written about bringing lovers to bed. Walk me through the before and after?
How sober does someone have to be to for you to believe they are healthy? You’ve written about this a little bit and I just met someone who doesn’t drink by choice but I’m scared to ask too many questions.
I don’t THINK this is totally out of bounds, but I have a crush on someone who used to date a friend of mine — she’s not a really close friend and they’ve been broken up for about a year or so now. She said she doesn’t care, but is this just a hard no?
As for my answers? Well, I think I’m gonna cock tease this out, as I’ve decided to have an abbreviated week. Since I launched this Substack, I’ve prided myself on publishing at least 50 weeks a year, but I’m taking time off for good behavior, so I’ll tackle these questions (from my strictly personal POV) next week.
Ms. Down To Fuck does have my attention — I started a list of what I like to do ahead of welcoming someone new into my bed; you’ll see if this resonates with you all. As for Seeking Sober Advice, I am going to poll a few of my non-imbibing pals to get their POV and then I’ll pass along all of our thoughts. Now, with regard to the Ms. Ex-Factor, hmm, that’s a tougher one, although I do see a few ways to tackle this with grace. What do YOU think about any of that? If these topics appeal to you — and/or if you have anything you want to suggest, the mailbag is OPEN!