Vol. 1, Post #22 Carmy Is A Fuckboy

Bear with me. My ongoing sex tips for girls* (*girls who are holding on to mid-life by a thread). A modern dating odyssey for Young Olds, AKA, people with readers.

I’m in Jenny Mag this week, with my take on why Carmy Is A Fuckboy…those who know me well know I LOVED writing this piece, even though I’m squirming a bit in No More Chefs Land right now. Listen, I deeply adored my last chef and it showed — think young Angelica Huston vibes (when she was hitting it with Jack Nicholson) — that kind of Holy Fuck Yes. But, as Jimmy says to Henry in Goodfellas, it’s time to smarten up (minute 1:15).

Also, SIDEBAR SPOILER ALERT, but in my opinion, who IS worthy of giving you some deep dicking, followed up with some deep dish Chicago pizza? Who are the REAL men of the show?

Richie (most glorious redemption story in modern television with season two’s episode “Forks” – the best 35 minutes I’ve spent in front of a screen in recent years). Richie is the Real Deal, Dear Readers. He is wide-open with his feelings even when it makes him sound like a Neanderthal; he knows his limitations and promises himself that he can work through them and actually attempts to do just that; and he knows how to own his past mistakes. His apology to Natalie surprises her to such a degree, she calls in one of the other kitchen staff to witness it.

The other Real Deal guy in the show? Marcus. Kind, curious, loves his mother, sentimental and open. Sorry, I digressed. Back to Carmy. Hot. And no thanks.